image source: nyfamilymedicine.com
The Immigrant Diaries series is curation of real life stories of real immigrants sharing their unique experiences as they navigate their Canadian immigrant journey. Names have been changed to maintain anonymity of some of the storytellers.
My name is Stella. I was a product manager in an e-commerce company in Nigeria before moving to Canada in July 2017. I still remember how excited I was when I received back my passport stamped. I was now a permanent resident of Canada. Moving to Canada meant many things for me. The most important being that I was now a permanent resident of one of the best countries in the world. It was also an opportunity for me to grow my career and begin earning in dollars. All my previous attempts at relationships back home had been a mess so I was also excited at the thought of starting on a clean slate. Nothing could stop my joy or so I thought.
I landed in one of the cities in the GTA and my brother’s friend Dave and his wife Bisi put me up at theirs for a month and half. In the first week of landing, I was so excited about my new environment. The trees were greener, the water was bluer, the air even felt fresher. I had never traveled abroad before this so my breath was taken away. I quickly learnt the transport route and was so happy to explore the city while also setting up all the necessary things I needed to like getting a bank account, library card etc. I also began attending YMCA and Newcomer job seminars. I even got a mentor who had tremendously helped transform my resume and boost my confidence. The interviews started rolling in. I attended them and got the different stages of each of them but never went past the final stage of any.
I didn’t know too many people in Canada prior to landing but I had made some connections on LinkedIn who were genuinely interested in my career and offered me useful advice from time to time. I had however started getting worried after one month of searching for jobs but none had come through yet. Dave and Bisi were very helpful and kept encouraging me. I also did the best I could while living with them to make their lives easier. But I knew it wasn’t sustainable. I had to get my own place and fast…but I needed a job first. On one evening while in the Balcony of Dave’s apartment building, he came to join me and cracked a few dry jokes I donated some dry laughter to. I knew there was another purpose for his joining me at the balcony. Then he started asking how my search was going. I told him I was still on it and hopeful. He then asked me if I had considered a call centre job.
I told him I hadn’t because I was confident I would get into my field soon. He said he understood but he and Bisi were hoping I would get a place of my own soon. I immediately understood where he was going and began to panic. I told him I would start looking into that. From then on, I became so uncomfortable living with them. I felt like I was being a burden. I was so uncomfortable that I decided to move out even without finding a job. I found a shared two bedroom apartment on Kijiji for about $700 monthly. At that point, I know I could not afford to pay for more than one month of rent without getting a job.
I moved out of Dave and Bisi’s into my new apartment. After buying essentials like a mattress, beddings and other necessities, I knew I had to get a job asap! I started interviewing for jobs as a customer service representative and eventually found one at one of the telecoms companies. I was earning $16/hour; it was supposed to be temporary but days turned to weeks, weeks to months and months to a year. I was unhappy having to speak to customers over the phone all the time. My work hours were also odd. I had a 12-10 pm shift I hated so much. I also worked on some weekends. It became even more difficult applying in my field. I had also gotten demoralised from several rejections. I took some online courses to help boost my resume. I also saved up from my job and took a course related to my field that cost $3600 but the situation wasn’t getting better. I experienced several emotions from sadness, discontent, anger to gratitude then right back to sadness and anger. I had made few friends here who tried to encourage me. They all had good jobs in their fields and admitted my case was taking longer than usual. After celebrating my one year anniversary in Canada, I sank into depression. I never knew an unhappiness so deep existed. I cried a lot, lost appetite and couldn’t eat, started declining invitations to go out from the few friends I had made. Inevitably, I fell so ill and couldn’t keep my meals down. I had terrible anxiety attacks. I eventually decided to seek help. I was placed on some antidepressants and several other medication.
One night after crying to God while praying, I looked at myself in the mirror and decided I was going to take my life back. Depression almost killed me and for what? I still had a roof over my head, food to eat, might not have been able to save a lot but my bills were paid in time. From then on, I developed a new outlook towards life – contentment. I became a happy child. I took on every opportunity to go out and celebrate life. Life is after all for the living. I soon got another job that paid better than my previous job; still not in my field but with much better conditions, an apartment of my own, grew my own personal support system, set to launch my online food business and in the process of applying for my citizenship. I have still not arrived at my destination but I’m definitely not where I used to be. I have been in Canada for three years now and my story is still being written. I am thankful for having a place in such a beautiful country and getting to live life on my own terms.
